wanting the need

I was asked an interesting question last week. "How did you know that you were capable of even trying to make the Olympic level when you weren't throwing well, what made you continue?" I had never really thought about it. I never really thought about what kept me going when most people and many people have given up from the places I've been. I was surprised that the words just shot out of my mouth. You see, I have had the dream of being an Olympian since the age of 5. I remember watching the opening ceremonies at home and laying in front of the TV enamored as I watched the gymnastics competition. I could feel my heart soar and I felt so alive during the time the Olympic would be covered on TV.  There never seemed to be an option in my heart, being there was what I needed to do. Originally I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast... laughing aside, it really was my dream. I had to change my plans of how to get the the big show, but the dream always remained that I NEEDED to get there. Since that young age, I have always felt a deep burning desire in my soul to be at the games. It was not a question of want, it has always been a necessity that I experience that in my lifetime. This is who I am, not what I hope to do.  It feels like it's been a part of me since I can remember and I must continue this journey until I find my way there. Even though I have never been there, the desire  to be there would best be described as the feeling of going home. Revisiting the place you grew up and being in the environment that helped to shape and define the person you are today.

So my advice to those who are struggling with having a desire in your heart and no clear way of getting there or idea of how to see it through, never stop listening to that voice. Following a dream that radiates throughout your soul is how you find who you really are and what you truly are capable of. No matter how difficult it may be, there is a reason it is there and the journey of going after it is when we find ourselves. Don't let anyone or anything tempt you away from it or tell you it can't be done.. even if that someone happens to be you. I feel there will be peace found when we all follow that voice and embrace the experiences that coincide the journey.. 

So I will continue my journey in hopes I find my way home and my wish is that you find yours too!

I am alive!

Wow it is hard to believe it is November! I hope that everyone is enjoying the changing of the seasons.. that is if you actually have changes in the season. Here in Texas it seems like it has gone from really hot to just mostly hot and sometimes it gets cool in the mornings. But we did experience some semi-fall weather recently and I ran to go find my winter gear because now I'm a baby when it comes to the "cold. I realized I haven't really experienced anything really cold in about 2 years since I spent last winter in the desert.

Lets see where do I start with what all that has happened since I last blogged..pheww. Well to make a loong story short. I started my training up again in late July, ended a relationship of 3 years, moved to South Austin, and was a genie with Loree Smith for Halloween. So that's the short of it. It's clear that the end of summer and beginning of fall has been a very difficult time for me emotionally and physically, but it has been an incredible time for self growth and discovery. I'm reminded of the process of forging steel. It is stressed and heated and beaten to shape it which results in a stronger piece for a specific purpose. I feel I've been being forged for some time now and I am finally on the up and up. I am now so much stronger in my shoes than I ever thought possible. My expectations for myself as an athlete and as a person are at levels that exceed what I used to dream. It is a very exciting time for me even though I am still pushing through some difficult things, I can see that everything that has happened is for a reason and has taught me something about myself. They are invaluable lessons that I know give me an edge in competition as well as everyday life.

In other news, Gus placed 4th at a weiner race in late September. So close to getting a trophy. I was soooo sad(probably inappropriately sad) we didn't get to take home a trophy, but they had a weiner dog on the top. ONE DAY I WILL HAVE ONE!!and by me of course I mean Gus.... I am also going to start work on a video collection of my fall training to give everyone out there an insight into my world. I hope to have it done by the holidays.. and lets remember that the key word in this statement is... hope ;o)


Hope everyone has safe travels during this Thanksgiving as well as a enjoyable and relaxing time! I definitely have much to be thankful for this year and am so very excited to spend time with my family.