The throw that wasn't

Well, there is so much I feel about Saturday and I find the words just don't seem to do is justice. I guess maybe to go back a bit and give a little more history would help paint a better picture of how I feel. As many of you probably know I completely changed training programs after indoors and went back to a program that I knew worked for me and my body. My first day back with James was March 15. I could tell by his disbelief in where I was physically and technically that it was going to take everything I had to pull this season around. I remember struggling and feeling so lost the first month or so. I could barely throw 15m with a 4k ball. All I kept hearing in my head was "what happened to me, how did it get this bad???" I was angry, hurt, scared, frustrated, but ultimately determined to turn it around. I knew if James had resurrected me and my throw once, he could and would do it again.

The second month showed signs of progress and moments of hope. Just enough moments of hope to keep be going but fleeting enough to keep me pushing harder. My distances began to increase and physically I began to feel explosive and athletic. Different things work for different people, but the simplicity and ingenuity of this program feels so perfect for complimenting both my strengths and weaknesses. I could feel the pressure of USA's looming on the back burner in my mind and knew that I had to continue to push. I knew that each day was critical and delicate to get me to where I know I was born to be. Having a 2 season long best at Tucson really got me fired up that great things could happen at USA's especially for how off I was from what I wanted to technically when I threw that 17m throw.

The 3rd month was a beautiful crescendo for me. FINALLY, after two years of fighting and working I was getting back to feelings in the ring and distances that I was at before I got hurt. I felt myself and that amazing liberation that comes from being in a throw. That flow that feels so effortless yet powerful and dynamic. I was in the right place doing the right things and it was just a matter of time and work before great things would/will happen.

Unfortunately, due to the major lack of repetitions a thrower needs to be able to hit a big throw at a big meet I was simply a casualty on Saturday. I mistimed my warm ups and started to technically fall apart throughout the meet. Although I showed moments in warm ups that it was going to be a good day, I was not able to hang on to it. It was the first time in several years that I had an almost meter better warm up throw than I did in actually competition. I think what hurt the most was that usually I can find something from somewhere inside and make it happen. Put one good throw together, but this time I fell short. I fully understand that I simply got too excited and had too much adrenaline and hadn't had the experience throughout the season to learn how to handle it. But MAN does this give me such a terrible taste in my mouth and in my soul. I think this is where we find ourselves. In the melting points, the ugly truths. This is what either breaks a person or makes a person. It's deciding how to handle and proceed with let downs like this. It's how a person chooses to respond and rise from it. To fully give every part of my life for 3 months and walk away with that distance associated with my names is very hard for me. Not to mention everything else I had gone through the first part of the season. James told me that in the long run this meet doesn't matter and that we are on to great things again and that to remember our ultimate goals. I still think it's funny how much a coach's words can do to help a situation and really remind of you the important things. I feel very clear and focused of what I want to and will do in the next 2-4 years of my career. I feel that for the first time I am ready mind, body and spirit.Watch out world because here I come!

Here I am at USA's with a T-shirt provided by the BEST cupcake 

place on the planet. HeyCupcake
The t-shirt reads
"CUPCAKES
The breakfast of Champions"

Des Moines

I'm currently sitting in a hotel room at the luxurious StudioPlus in Des Moines, IA and by luxurious I mean that I'm pretty sure it used to be a assisted living facility that someone thought would make a excellent extended stay hotel. It has the weirdest dimensions for a hotel room I've ever seen. And there is this random huge space in the middle that my parents have lovingly coined  the "dance floor". Look at the picture if you think I'm exaggerating...

And yes, while in Des Moines, I'm staying with the rents. Can't beat the amenities that come complete with a personal chauffeur and the fact my mother is always trying to give me food so that I don't dare go hungry... well unless you weigh in the added stress levels of riding in the back seat as my father drives around a city he doesn't know with my mom acting as impromptu GPS... or that my dad gets more nervous than I do at big meets and usually is the bigger stressor than the meet itself, but overall I feel that once I make it to the meet, the stress is all downhill!

Meet Lonie and Norma

Believe it or not, my dad is actually behind that massive amount of facial hair. He grows it to mock me. The deal is that when I threw 18.50 he will trim it back to a man-size stache, but until then it remains. While there are many who think he will forever don the mammoth stache, I know it's days are numbered!

Video

This is usually where someone would probably say something like 'I've gotten a lot of requests and emails asking for video of me lifting' or something exciting like that.. but this has not been requested.. not yet that is. I like to think I'm just anticipating the request of the masses to see me in action..Hey, a girl can dream can't she ;o)

Throwing, training, and truit tart oh my!

I headed to Tucson a couple of weekends ago for my first outdoor meet… my first meet period in over 3 months. I had so many different emotions going through me and so many thoughts going through my head, but over all, for the first time in awhile, I was really excited about competing and seeing how far I could throw. The trip ended up being fantastic. I had the opportunity to spend some time with my parents who actually made the drive all the way from San Antonio!! They are so amazing and support me unconditionally! It was also really great to see my old training group (Loree, Kevin, Vikas and John). I felt good about my performance at the meet. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to get out there and throw farther, but with everything that has happened this year, I felt that it was a giant step in the right direction. My confidence in my training only grew stronger by my improvements in the ring. I had a season best of 17.04 on the second day of competition. It was actually a 2 season long best. I hadn’t throw 17 meters in competition since 2008(sad, but true) Now I know that the process of an injury is much more about the recovery of the mind more so than the physical side. I did feel I missed a big opportunity that day. I had not felt that much energy and that fresh in so long. Plus the addition of a pre competition Americano took me to another level.. Unfortunately, since I was not used to it, I could hardly contain myself. I was a wreck. Thankfully, I was able to start getting a hold of myself in the 3rd round, but I felt I learned a good lesson in getting to know my body in a high intense situation. I felt I had much more in the tank, but never quite was under control. It had certainly been way too long since I’d felt that way, but I am so very happy that the feeling was back!

It’s been 3 months since I came back to Texas and I could not ask for more in my training or from my coach, James Parman. He has helped me fight through some lingering injuries as well has help me get my form in the ring. My support system has been there right when I have needed them and I believe I would have gotten lost along the way some time ago if not for them. I know that great things are to come and I really look forward to the hard work that it will take. All the blood, sweat, and tears and the character building along the way!

One more note. I do have a life outside of the ring(believe it or not!). So I will share a bit of my recent adventures. Well, more so to brag about quite an accomplishment. Being the end of May/beginning of June, it is the season of graduations. I recently had a friend graduate(Lana) and could not think of what to get her for graduation to say 'job well done'… then suddenly I had it…. A FRUIT TART!!! Somehow this makes sense in my mind as a gift. So three hours later there it was….

The miracle you have just observed is 100% from scratch!!! I even went out and purchased a special 'tart' pan.. I didn't even know they existed, but now I'm a proud owner. Dont' ask me why I can spend 3 hours baking and be completely happy, yet spending 30 minutes cooking a meal is a chore! Of course I had to have assistance. Well, I think in the over all scheme of things I was more of the assistant to pastry chef extraordinaire, Leigh!

Happy training!